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Behavioral

What you see and what you hear may not be what you’d like to understand.

A lack of will, no a lack of skill, emotions water in an oiled frying pan.

You must adapt yet be to quick to change and get left behind while holding the reins.

A system of support only a strain without communication to ease one’s pains.

Peace is normal some would say, peace is and be fleeting anyway.

A behavioral skill does needs to grow quantifying tempered time to what to know.

Wednesday, August 2, 2022, 8:19 PM

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Are you?

Are you sure we didn’t see the same stars or sleep underneath the same sky?

Kind to the extent of making each other home wanting more but not knowing why.

In each season of absence living out whatever role we’ve been found in,

Now noticing the curves and angles from your presence in places that you’ve been.

Are you sure we didn’t experience the same air in those years, leading to when you reappeared?

7:39 PM, August 11, 2022, Thursday

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Tools

A world of tools of tools,

Where use is but a common rule,

Freedom of choice does not relate to blood or breath,

When the burden of life is an expected misstep,

A hammer, a nail, a wrench, and more,

All have a place they can be used and stored,

A world of tools, A tool in itself,

Worn down by those who’d call on their help.

3:02 PM, 10-26-2021, Tuesday

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Dis-chanting

Praises love to sing, “move on, move on.”

And we all trudge along, “By-gones be gone.”

We chant to no one, “Welcome fall, summer, winter, spring.”

And chant to ourselves, “Oh how good we have been.”

Loyal answers to follow, “It depends dot dot and so on.”

Magic in melodies, “With no wards, comes no qualms.”

Mindfulness welcomed, “Mi casa es su casa.”

In the development of a whim, “The end is where we begin.”

3:40 PM, 01/09/2022, Sunday

Next Chapter Release

Hello Paradoxilists. The next chapter of Jayden’s journey is now available. Get a feel for what to expect in this sneak peak below. The next chapter is set to release 09/22/2026. Interested in getting a quick head start on the next few chapters consider subscribing.

The Quake and the Monsters

Jayden finds himself in a city being torn apart by a catastrophic phenomenon. Strange static permeates reality, the ground cracks open, and streams of violet energy erupt from beneath the earth. People flee in terror as others are transformed by the mysterious energy into monstrous creatures.

Jayden himself is injured while escaping a werewolf-like creature and is forced into the sewer system. There he encounters more mutated beings and barely survives another pursuit. Eventually he reaches the surface and witnesses a transformed world filled with ruined buildings, strange energy, monsters, and a sky streaked with unnatural colors.

Then everything stops.

Time appears to freeze, and Jayden encounters a strange presence floating in the sky—a smoky, seemingly bodiless entity. Before Jayden can understand it, he loses consciousness.

Paradoxilism to Go Live

Hey everyone its been awhile since theres been an update but here’s a good one for you. Paradoxilism, an original story written by yours truly goes live tonight at 9:36 PM. Please feel free to poke around and know that some chapters will be available to you when the book is live. If looking to continue the adventure subscribe for updates and additional content.

“Paradoxilism follows Jayden, an introspective and unusually perceptive young man whose lifelong fascination with consciousness, existence, psychology, and the nature of reality ultimately becomes intertwined with a supernatural experiment capable of reshaping an entire universe.”

Self Awareness in Chess

My chess experience spans several years, encompassing games against a variety of opponents.  While I wouldn’t claim expert status, my skill level is arguably above novice.  However, I prioritize personal enjoyment of my playing style over the ultimate objective of checkmating the king.

Individuals interpret chess’s significance diversely, viewing it as a tool for self-discovery and understanding of others.  Some perceive it as an intellectual exercise, while others see it as a reflection of their cognitive processes.  A family member describes chess as a life metaphor, associating pieces with family and friends, himself as the king, and his strategic choices as the king’s guiding hand.  I view chess as a dialogue of consciousness, a series of arguments and counterarguments where points are defended, accepted, and conceded, resulting in victory, defeat, or a continuation of the discussion in a subsequent game.

The primary objective in chess is checkmating the opponent’s king.  Players typically adopt either aggressive or defensive strategies to achieve this.  Developing proficiency in both styles is advantageous. However, my preferred approach is to pursue a draw.  While checkmate signifies the game’s conclusion, I find greater satisfaction in a result where both players feel their communication and strategic abilities have been effectively demonstrated.

I am interested in understanding the perspectives of chess players.  What significance does chess hold for you?

Attentional State of Being Theory

When I was reviewing literature related to cognitive psychology a common thread that crossed my mind and one that I seem to find throughout my studies of the various branches of psychology were theories concerning how different cognitive functions relied on some form of input from internal or external stimuli to facilitate action potentials or behaviors cognitive or otherwise.

I’ve always been one to enjoy the more philosophical points of view regarding how we define ourselves and what people strive for as their ultimate goal and as I was reading I was distracted by thoughts of why people do anything. I had started to daydream a bit, and I had this feeling of nostalgia when I was a kid laying in the grass looking the sky, imagining what I thought was peace. I remembered the slight feeling of irritation when the feeling was coming to an end because of having to do something else. This train of thought led me through some general memories, and I thought to myself, “for all the things I’ve done, that I am doing, or didn’t want to do,why did I continue to do anything?”

The welcomed intrusive thoughts got me thinking about human cognition as it relates to how a “sense of self” or SS is defined and subsequently how a “state of being” or SB could be defined. I also asked myself, what is the purpose of the SB and SS. The internal discussion is more of a philosophical discussion, and I will share that with regard to this, I believe that the purpose of SS is a continued SB. I would argue that from a psychological standpoint, human cognition serves the process of facilitating the actions needed for the individual’s SS to develop and a sense of SB to continue.

SB and SS are theoretical in terms of how they operate depending on how the constructs are defined. I considered both as constucts and came to a few conclusions. The first conclusion is that a persons sense of self and perceived state of being not interchangeable. Second is that both are affected by the same stimuli to varying degrees and are dynamic in function and fluid in terms of structure. Third is that while both SB and SS are inherently subjective, SB has some sense of objectivity in regard to the experiences as perceived by an individual, such as with chronic pain.

A state of being as a construct may be viewed as the holistic state an individuals overall being to their environment in relation to their perceived sense of self. This involves perception of how biological circumstances affect an individuals ability to engage with their environment, spiritually in how individuals engage with spiritual and religious constructs externally as opposed to  a defining characteristic of self, psychologically in regards to the attentional energy devoted to cognitive though placed on internal and external stimuli not withstanding that which is expected as given for an individual is each respect. Lastly, all of these factors may bring attention to an indivudals social circumstances. Theoretical constructs are inherent and dynamic in how they change and adapt.

Compared to a state of being, the sense of self exists as a construct that the individual determines as significant to defining who they are as an individual by themselves and/or within society at large. Some examples include thoughts, beliefs, values, behaviors, and personality. SB can be articulated through integrative models such as the biopsychosocial spiritual model. This model best considers the context of an individuals life in terms of biological, psychological,  social, and spiritual associations that exist to some degree for everyone.

The biopsychosocial spiritual model works best in regards to this theory of attention, given that factors from any of these categories can be given for any individual at any time. Additionally, internal and external stimuli within and outside the body can have temporary to permanent effects to an individuals state of being or sense of self or have no effect at all. Depending on the stimuli, more attention may be drawn to certain stimuli than others, leading individuals to utilize more cognitvr resources or mental capacity to engage with society. By measuring and identifying where individuals’ attention is directed within the biopsychosocial spiritual model and the magnitude in which attention to those factors are presented. It may prove easier for professionals to target strategies and interventions for care.

These thoughts have since expanded a bit, and although I am lightly touching on a few here, I do plan to expand on some of the research and findings that support the theory as I’d argue there is much to gain from combining information from objective diagnostic evaluations along with focused subjective information.

Revolver

Twisting and turning on this roll of a sphere I rotated upon.

Cool as iron after the sparks were lit and somehow the heat goes on.

Succulent to the bones roasted upon the metal spick,

Sticky are the juicy thoughts after my mind rolls over into it.

A cog in a buolds the machine, a wheel without its spokes and so it speaks,

A corkscrew for the bullet and a little food for the vicious and meek.

Wind created motion and tempers the weathers notions,

Heating and cooling oceans create the torrents within its currents.

3:20 PM, July 8th, 2023, Saturday

So you opened the door…

After receiving the key, you opened the door with understanding you were seemingly ready to explore.

Told to wait, take your time, and not to fret or be caught in a wave of emotions by hooks in the net.

Did you see shadows of doubt as the door crept open the lights in the corners flickering from the motion?

Did anxiety seep in increasing your hearts pace just as mine did when I was standing in your place?

Memories of love languages running wild in your mind as fluid and precious as the recordings of time.

Or will you close that door? If that is what you think is for the best, sometimes a step back lays those qualms to rest.

Or will the door be left ajar, its contents laid bare a sign of showing how much you truly care.

But alas, you opened the door as to peek inside is allowed but with musings of more what decision will you make now?

8:35am, May, 22, 2023, Monday

Move E

Watching and being folded under the weight of each set of scenes,

Time consuming everything from the color of colorful laughs to lucid tears.

Covering my eyes, off to the restroom ignore the fears,

Relate the drama to come up with every come up that’s ever here.

Look around for light in the darkness or vise versa sit still and watch the curtains roll,

Move E out just to rest a bit expressive art left wanting this.

Friday, April 21,2023, 12:53 pm